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<<What do you say to the skeptics?>> Just say Thank you. I find it is useless to try to explain people think you are "goldbricking" People used to tell me how fat I was getting when I was cushinoid from Prednisone. You can’t please people. Just try taking care of yourself and don’t let them get to you……Gigi
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In article <3713ED0C.5…@erols.com>, JERRY <jmg…@erols.com> writes [] >As far as your boss goes, >I’d get hime a phamplet or book about lupus and ask him to read it. [] >Good luck! Mary
Try mine (well, the one I borrowed..) on http://www.kitzbuhel.demon.co.uklupussle.htm — Andy For Austria & its philately, Lupus, & much else visit http://www.kitzbuhel.demon.co.uk
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Thank you all for your advice. I’ve had a very had time dealing with my lupus lately. Why I don’t know. After 9 years you would think I’d know how to handle it.
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Gee – thanks for posting that question. I didn’t even think of the pamphlet angle.
My coworkers and boss look so doubtful all the time when I don’t feel "well." In
fact, yesterday I was out with 102 fever and needed a note from the doctor. Boss
really acted doubtful that I was really ill – I will get him some info so that he will
understand why a URI can level us at our best and our need for antibiotic help.
Now if I can just get people to stop asking me about my blood pressure because
of the red face. People are sure rude, aren’t they!!!! -**** Posted from RemarQ, http://www.remarq.com/?a ****- Search and Read Usenet Discussions in your Browser – FREE –
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Andy – Couldn’t get to your link at that address. Others, try http://www.kitzbuhel.demon.co.uk/ and select ‘Lupus’ link. Thanks!! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Andy wrote: > In article <3713ED0C.5…@erols.com>, JERRY <jmg…@erols.com> writes > [] > >As far as your boss goes, > >I’d get hime a phamplet or book about lupus and ask him to read it. > [] > >Good luck! Mary > Try mine (well, the one I borrowed..) on > http://www.kitzbuhel.demon.co.uklupussle.htm > — > Andy > For Austria & its philately, Lupus, & much else visit > http://www.kitzbuhel.demon.co.uk
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i never know what to do when i have a really bad rash on my face and little kids point it out, like "mommy, what’s wrong with her face??!!!" it’s so embarrassing.
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Re; Don’t look sick. People can be such ass holes, to hell with what they think, I get same response from my husband, funny you don’t look sick. I just want to kick him when he tells me that. Unless their experience an illness for themselves they have no idea, how debilitating it really can be.To hell with those who cannot support you, is what I say. and just go about your life. Sue
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Analog- For younger kids who don’t know any better try, "Yes, I have boo-boo’s on my face." For adults, who should know better, try "I have Lupus, what’s your exuse?" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Analog99 wrote: > i never know what to do when i have a really bad rash on my face and little > kids point it out, like "mommy, what’s wrong with her face??!!!" > it’s so embarrassing.
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This is such a hard thing to deal with. I have a very understanding boss, and he believes me when I say I’m sick, but he still worries about what the others think. The ironic thing is that if I come to work and hour or two late, once I am feeling human, I am subject to criticism (why can Sandy come in any time she wants?). I could have stayed home all day, taken a sick day, and no one would question it. In other words, if I make an effort to do six hours instead of eight on a day that starts out badly, people will gossip. If I stay home, that’s OK. Fortunately my job is fairly independent, and I can work a whacky schedule without interfering with anyone else’s work. I can work at home sometimes too. Sandy
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I wish I had an understanding boss. Unfortunately, I am a consultant, I get no paid time off for anything. There are days I go to work and can barely lift my hands to type. I am a technical writer and wish I could work at home. But my boss is one of those who doesn’t believe you’re working unless he can see you. Sometimes I just want to sit down and cry from the frustration of it. My doctor is not much better, I asked for him to write a note to my boss, and it was so medical oriented that not even I could understand it. I wish, for once, I could get a week off or at least be able to work at home for the majority of the week, but as a consultant it is very had to do. I have no clout and can be replaced. I am the only one working right now and there are two other that depend on me, my husband and 4-year-old daughter (the light of my life). My husband is also a consultant, and is currently between jobs. I don’t know what to do. I just need a rest. Thanks all for letting me blow off steam. It’s been a rough week. Cheryl – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -MindSpring User wrote in message <7fbbho$kr…@camel18.mindspring.com>… >This is such a hard thing to deal with. I have a very understanding boss, >and he believes me when I say I’m sick, but he still worries about what the >others think. The ironic thing is that if I come to work and hour or two >late, once I am feeling human, I am subject to criticism (why can Sandy come >in any time she wants?). I could have stayed home all day, taken a sick >day, and no one would question it. In other words, if I make an effort to >do six hours instead of eight on a day that starts out badly, people will >gossip. If I stay home, that’s OK. >Fortunately my job is fairly independent, and I can work a whacky schedule >without interfering with anyone else’s work. I can work at home sometimes >too. >Sandy
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Cheryl, Tell them you can’t judge a book by its cover! Lupus 20 yrs Marge Marge
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Cheryl, It is often difficult for companies to make the transition to telecommuting. I have found that the best way to ease the fear for the company is to change from being paid by the hour, to being paid by the project. From what you describe, that should be a fairly easy transition to make. It’s good for you, because you can work whenever you feel up to it. It’s good for the company because they know how much their cost is. They then should only be concerned with the result, not when, or how you get it done. Even though I am now retired on disability, I still take on special projects on that basis. We exchange files via e-mail as needed. Once they knew that the projects would be done well, and on time, they relaxed and realized that the arrangement was best for them too. Good Luck. But, take care of yourself, too!! Don On Sun, 18 Apr 1999 17:12:36 -0400, "Cheryl C." <tekri…@neo.rr.com> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I wish I had an understanding boss. Unfortunately, I am a consultant, I get >no paid time off for anything. There are days I go to work and can barely >lift my hands to type. I am a technical writer and wish I could work at >home. But my boss is one of those who doesn’t believe you’re working unless >he can see you. Sometimes I just want to sit down and cry from the >frustration of it. My doctor is not much better, I asked for him to write a >note to my boss, and it was so medical oriented that not even I could >understand it. >I wish, for once, I could get a week off or at least be able to work at home >for the majority of the week, but as a consultant it is very had to do. I >have no clout and can be replaced. I am the only one working right now and >there are two other that depend on me, my husband and 4-year-old daughter >(the light of my life). My husband is also a consultant, and is currently >between jobs. I don’t know what to do. I just need a rest. >Thanks all for letting me blow off steam. It’s been a rough week. >Cheryl >MindSpring User wrote in message <7fbbho$kr…@camel18.mindspring.com>… >>This is such a hard thing to deal with. I have a very understanding boss, >>and he believes me when I say I’m sick, but he still worries about what the >>others think. The ironic thing is that if I come to work and hour or two >>late, once I am feeling human, I am subject to criticism (why can Sandy >come >>in any time she wants?). I could have stayed home all day, taken a sick >>day, and no one would question it. In other words, if I make an effort to >>do six hours instead of eight on a day that starts out badly, people will >>gossip. If I stay home, that’s OK. >>Fortunately my job is fairly independent, and I can work a whacky schedule >>without interfering with anyone else’s work. I can work at home sometimes >>too. >>Sandy
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When I tell people I am sick and just feel wore out I usually get this surprised stare from them and they say, "But you look great! You don’t look sick." How should I deal with them? What do I have to do, faint or turn green. What do you say to the skeptics? My boss at work just looks at me like I’m nuts when I say I need to go home because I’m sick. I don’t think anyone believes Lupus doesn’t have the visual signals of illness all the time. sometimes I just want to pass out and fall on top of them to get the point across. Cheryl- 9 years a Lupie
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This is a common bond many of us share, Cheryl. I know and people that are close to me know I don’t look right. Even when I went into my last major flare and lost a lot of weight and looked like a skinned rat, most acquaintances thought I looked great. I have learned to just accept this fact of life. I sometimes wonder if even the Rheumy’s understand what misery we are in when we go into their offices with our rosy little cheeks. Donna – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Cheryl wrote in message <6WMQ2.3602$Ya.11…@dustdevil.neo.rr.com>… >When I tell people I am sick and just feel wore out I usually get this >surprised stare from them and they say, "But you look great! You don’t look >sick." How should I deal with them? What do I have to do, faint or turn >green. What do you say to the skeptics? >My boss at work just looks at me like I’m nuts when I say I need to go home >because I’m sick. I don’t think anyone believes Lupus doesn’t have the >visual signals of illness all the time. sometimes I just want to pass out >and fall on top of them to get the point across. >Cheryl- >9 years a Lupie
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Cheryl wrote: > When I tell people I am sick and just feel wore out I usually get this > surprised stare from them and they say, "But you look great! You don’t look > sick." How should I deal with them? What do I have to do, faint or turn > green. What do you say to the skeptics? > My boss at work just looks at me like I’m nuts when I say I need to go home > because I’m sick. I don’t think anyone believes Lupus doesn’t have the > visual signals of illness all the time. sometimes I just want to pass out > and fall on top of them to get the point across. > Cheryl- > 9 years a Lupie
Yes, all of us Lupies feel the same as you do about the comments of others. I get a real bad rash on my face at times and they say you look so good, you have so much color! Little do they know that I am in a bad flare when my face is plastered with lesions. I guess I’d rather people tell me I look good than bad. My Dr. said that’s one of the bad things about lupus, you’re so sick and you don’t look it. He said if someone sees someone in a wheelchair with a broken leg, they have sympathy for them, but with us it’s quite different, even though we are suffering more than the person who gets the sympathy. As far as your boss goes, I’d get hime a phamplet or book about lupus and ask him to read it. I am fortunate my boss (principal of the school) is very understanding. I am also fortunate that I haven’t missed a complete day from work for almost 3 years, but he would be understanding if I were out. Of course, being with the school system we get some nice holidays and summers off. Good luck! Mary
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