Question:
On Wed, 19 Apr 2000 15:08:04 GMT, "jf" <jfrid…@mediaone.net> wrote: >I was just wondering, since I’m relatively new to this (and definitely still >in denial about parts of it), did you end up losing close friends along the >way? I know that this is probably a touchy subject for some, but I’ve been >feeling that I hold my head high for my closest friends as much as I can, >but when I do need some support they just tell me that it could have been >worse.
If your so-called friends are making you stressed, let them go. I’ve been there, with one particular friend who I had known since I was 11. Both I and another close friend had chronic health problems, and she just wasn’t prepared to accommodate at all, but expected us to fit in with her and not vice versa. It was a weight off to decide that we just didn’t need the hassle. Suzanne
Response:
Hi Julia: Yes, I think a lot of us can relate to this, I know I can! I have lost some friends "that I thought were at the time anyway" over my illness, but I guess they weren’t as good of friends as I thought!! I have several very good friends that call just to check on me and talk about whatever, that’s a real friend. Not the ones that think oh she can’t go out and party anymore or she’s always sick so she’s a bump on the log now… those are not real friends!! It’s OK to Babble too!! Go ahead that’s what we are all here for!! Mary/az
Response:
>Amen to that Tina. That is your name isn’t it?? >– >JANERS
Yes 
) mookeysmom/Tina To see my mookey & baby keisha click links: 1.) http://www.geocities.com/mookeysmom866/index.html 2.) http://www.geocities.com/mookeysmom866/newerpics.html
Response:
>bla bla bla… >does anyone know what I’m talking about?
Julia – Of course! Especially the bla bla bla part. Not every person can handle illness. Some don’t deal with change very well. For the rest of the people that love you, it’s painful for them as well. It’s a crummy thing, but even people you love might not be there for you. I have no reasons, okay maybe a million reasons, but it doesn’t matter. This dx hurts, and heartache is a side effect. to our health kelly
Response:
<<I was just wondering, since I’m relatively new to this (and definitely still in denial about parts of it), did you end up losing close friends along the way? >> My daughter did lose some friends shortly after she got her lupus diagnosis. It wasn’t directly because of lupus, but more because of the effects of lupus. Her friends, all teenagers, were into going to the beach and outdoor sports. Since she could no longer do the things they liked with them, they sort of drifted away from her. Very few were willing to alter their lifestyles to accommodate her. That was a very big blow to her. On the other hand, I have to add that she very quickly found out this way who her real friends were and weren’t. There were a couple of friends who hung in there with her and went out of their way repeatedly plan things in which my daughter could participate. Sometimes they went to the mall together or a movie. Sometimes they hung out together at their house or ours. They very quickly developed very deep relationships. The same has been true with other friends she’s made since then. Therefore, it seems that it’s not all been bad. Lupus has simply separated the chaff from the wheat. Sandra
Response:
Amen to that Tina. That is your name isn’t it?? — JANERS — SOMEDAYS ARE DIAMONDS, SOMEDAYS ARE STONES!!!
Response:
true friends will be there for you no matter what. While it will be hard for you to lose "friends", your other friendships will strengthen. I found out through trial and error this last year just who my friends are. You will also find that members of your own family aren’t "there" for you now that you have this condition. Remember that you can pick your friends, and that the first person to worry about is you. Also know that you are among friends here in the newsgroup. You can ask any question imagineable here, and somebody will usually be able to relate to it, and then answer your questions. I am lucky in that SLE hasn’t cost me my relationship with my wife… there are tough times, that we have been through, and I can only imagine what the future will bring. Take each day as it comes. Carl jf <jfrid…@mediaone.net> wrote in message
news:oZjL4.40833$JE2.236469@typhoon.we.rr.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I was just wondering, since I’m relatively new to this (and definitely still > in denial about parts of it), did you end up losing close friends along the > way? I know that this is probably a touchy subject for some, but I’ve been > feeling that I hold my head high for my closest friends as much as I can, > but when I do need some support they just tell me that it could have been > worse. True, true, true it could have been and it can be…but then, since > they don’t know what’s going on with me, they don’t know that that is a > major fear for me: that it will get worse. Maybe I’m blowing things out of > proportion but I start to feel like I’m getting quieted everytime someone > tells me that at least it’s not bla bla bla… > does anyone know what I’m talking about? > I mean, I know that since I’m 22 and all my friends are around the same age > this is new to a lot of them. I guess I’ve felt thankful that the lupus > hasn’t "infected" the friendships, but I guess I’m starting to feel deep > down inside that it has. > Sorry to babble… > just kind of sad and petrified about my doctor’s appointment tomorrow. 
> thanks for listening/reading. > any responses or emails to enlighten me would be greatly appreciated. =) > -julia
Response:
>all my friends are around the same age >this is new to a lot of them. I guess I’ve felt thankful that the lupus >hasn’t "infected" the friendships, but I guess I’m starting to feel deep >down inside that it has.
if it does then they are not "friends". It (sle)helps you see what the meaning of friends are & who they are. I found out mine, & SLE cost a marriage, but also that true friends are there no matter what. mookeysmom/Tina To see my mookey & baby keisha click links: 1.) http://www.geocities.com/mookeysmom866/index.html 2.) http://www.geocities.com/mookeysmom866/newerpics.html
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