Question:
Any thoughts on how to start finding a sister for Max<<
Yes, Spend the next decade loving Max to pieces, and Learn all you can about the waiting children here in America. Should it come to pass that you can add another child to your family, consider a 5+ year old girl who is languishing in foster care somewhere and who might bring you more joy that you imagine possible. By adding to your family this way, you can take Sue’s advice to look into all the corners of your wife’s medical history and not do anything in a hurry that you might regret later, making sure that your wife is up to the challenge of raising two children. You can still have a daughter who is close enough in age to her brother to be a sibling/companion. Life is long, you don’t need to be in such a hurry- Building your family via adoption means you can still be adding children well into your 50’s, if you are so inclined. There are half a million waiting children in America, not all adoptions are of healthy white infants. Learn more about adoption and celebrate your son- then come back and make a plan. And, by the way- your feelings of impatience and anxiety are normal. I think it comes with the Post Partum. I had a horrendous pregnancy but when I woke from the anesthesia I couldn’t wait to do it again….till Mathew turned Best of luck to you.
Response:
July 10th My wife had a beautiful baby boy, We named him Max Alan. He is a joy and he is being loved. I can not wait until I see what face he makes next. We know that we want to have another baby ( a girl if we could chose). I don’t think that my wife Victoria will want to go through the difficult experiance that she did again in order to have a second baby. She had 3 miscarriages before getting pregnant a 4th time. We went to see a specialist about what might be her problems. We we told that she has an imune disorder called Antiphospholipid syndrom. What this means is that the body feels that the placenta is a foriegn body and attacks it. It does this by clotting the blood in the placenta effectivly cutting off nurishment, oxygen etc to the growing baby….hence the miscarriages. ( One at 3 months which was horrific and a terrific strain emotionally. When we found out that Vistoria had this disorder we found that the only treatment currently was to give 2 daily injections of hepren(a blood thinner) into her back or stomach. We have been rewarded after 9 months of what was still considered a high risk pregnancy with Max. We are so happy but we know we want to have another. Victoria’s body looked like it had been beaten on a daily basis as the hepron caused large black and blue marks at every injection site. We are now settling in to enjoy our new wonder, and knowing that adoption is a long process. We want to start looking into doing it right away. Any thoughts on how to start finding a sister for Max Brett
Response:
July 10th My wife had a beautiful baby boy, We named him Max Alan. He is a joy and he is being loved.
Congrats! <snip We know that we want to have another baby ( a girl if we could chose). I don’t think that my wife Victoria will want to go through the difficult experiance that she did again in order to have a second baby. She had 3 miscarriages before getting pregnant a 4th time. We went to see a specialist about what might be her problems. We we told that she has an imune disorder called Antiphospholipid syndrom.
Antiphospholipid syndrome can be a primary condition UNassociated with underlying disease, but it may also be one of the first symptoms of more serious disease. I certainly hope this doesn’t come as a surprise to you … but I think it’s important information to convey, especially given all the child-bearing losses associated with this constellation of factors. What this means is that the body feels that the placenta is a foriegn body and attacks it. It does this by clotting the blood in the placenta effectivly cutting off nurishment, oxygen etc to the growing baby….hence the miscarriages.
It does that … and more. When we found out that Vistoria had this disorder we found that the only treatment currently was to give 2 daily injections of hepren(a blood thinner) into her back or stomach.
Heparin might be the only treatment FOR VICTORIA, but it’s not the only treatment. And research may provide other treatments in the near-term future. (If you’re a spouse who’s given to offering prayers of thankfulness, you might add Nigel Harris’s name … it was only 15+ years ago that he/his team began to tease out exactly what it was that caused high "fetal wastage" in women such as Victoria.) <snip We are now settling in to enjoy our new wonder, and knowing that adoption is a long process. We want to start looking into doing it right away.
Sounds premature to me. I’d suggest that you talk to other physicians, the Arthritis Foundation, the Lupus Foundation, etc., before rushing to increase the size of your family. That may sound unkind to you, but imo it’s a matter of kindness to Max and to any siblings he might have. Any thoughts on how to start finding a sister for Max
You DID ask. Best wishes. Sue T.
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